We left him somewhere
and we were driving down
a snowy mountain.
and then I insisted we go back.
We couldn’t leave him in that place.
We would be gone too long.
I convinced the driver his father
to turn around.
Of course it was too late.
Child protective services
had taken him away.

It’s like that. Mistakes
converted into dreams,
combined with soap operas,
the daily news, and your own
felt childhood.

You get a phone call from him
almost thirty, losing his hair,
three states away. If he says,
“HiMom, all one word, it’s a wafer
in your mouth.

If not, when you hang up,
Cuddle the stuffed dog
Send clever e-mails or money,

Oh, don’t judge yourself so harshly.
You will never know
what he needed from you
what he didn’t.